The Green Eyed Monster

Sorry but this is going to be a rant but I just have to get it off of my chest. I was just sitting in my office, minding my own business when two of my coworkers start talking rather loudly. I wasn’t purposefully trying to eavesdrop but when I heard one of them mention pregnant I guess my  ears perked up. Apparently one of them is late and thinking she might have gotten pregnant from her boyfriend even though she is on Morena to prevent it. They haven’t even been together for a year. I could feel my blood boiling at that point, how unfair it all was that she, without even trying to prevent it, could easily get pregnant and here I am on medicine, changing my diet, etc. To add insult to injury, the possible preggo says she feels bad because one of her friends is actually TTC and struggling when she could be without even intentionally doing so. Then the other coworker brings up my name and how I am also going through that and comes over to my office and asks what the medicine is that I am on!! Are you kidding me?! Ugh, anyway, I know I should be happy for this coworker if she ends up in fact pregnant, since apparently even though she was trying to prevent it, her and her boyfriend would be glad it happened…It’s just one of those days.

*3 of my coworkers know I am TTC because it was just easier when I was feeling very sick at work from the Metformin.

Another Month Down

Looks like we are about to wrap up another month, making it 3 months since my last period. And I only got the one back in April thanks to Provera. I called my doctor on my lunch break asking to be put back on it again, I only got an answering machine though so we will see what she says later. I wish there was something else I could do. Metformin hasn’t seemed to do anything for me. I have been getting bad cramps for about a week now, so I thought AF would be coming any day now but nope.

If put back on Provera, I feel like that will get the ball rolling for me again. Doing ovulation kits will feel like there is a point to them again and not like I am just throwing away money. I have also started taking my temperature every morning to look for signs of ovulation as well. I got the idea from my friend Kate. A and I met up with Kate and her husband Alex 2 weekends ago because I desperately wanted to talk to Kate. She and I aren’t that close but she is the only person I know who has struggled with infertility who could give me advice and a sense of camaraderie. Kate and Alex had been TTC for almost 4 years! She did 6 cycles of Clomid, 3 of something else I can’t remember the name of, 3 IUI’s and then when her and her husband decided things were getting too expensive and that they would take a break, she got pregnant on her own! I could not be more excited for her. I am truly happy for them. It’s not even a high risk pregnancy since she doesn’t have PCOS or anything. Anyway, she had given me her extra Ovulation Test Strips, which will save me a bit of money and just kind of lifted my spirits for what I am going through and the whole process. She also told me about what Clomid was like for her since I desperately want to be put on that soon. She said the main thing she remembers was that she had intense hot flashes. She’d be freezing one minute and the next having to peel her clothes off. Also when she coughed she had really bad pain from her uterus being full of follicles. But overall she really liked Clomid even though she didn’t get pregnant from it. It felt good to confide in someone as A and I have only told a tiny select few people that we are even trying to conceive, let alone that we are struggling because I have PCOS. We haven’t even told our families. If any of them outright ask us, we would share but for now, I just don’t want that extra pressure of them knowing and being aware of how long it is taking and that things aren’t working. Although part of me feels like maybe it would be a weight lifted to just be out in the open. However, last time I visited my parents for the weekend, my mom made a comment about how when she and my dad decided that they wanted babies they just tried and it happend, all 3 times…thanks mom. I don’t even remember how that conversation got brought up but I think she was hinting at me. Must be nice to just want it and it happens. That will not be the case for me. I almost told her right then and there that we were in fact TTC but then my dad walked in from the garage and the moment was lost. A and I will be making the trip up to their house again this Friday, so we will see how that goes. Although we wont be seeing my parents too much this visit anyway because Saturday we will be spending time with my best friend and her family (husband and 2 kids) who just got back from living 2 years in Germany. I am so jealous of her living abroad. They will only be back for a year before moving again. This time, 2 years in Australia! So I have to get in as much time with her as possible before they are gone again. She and only one other friend of mine know about my PCOS. Best friend doesn’t have PCOS but she has struggled herself when they decided to try for baby #3 and she had 2 miscarriages. I can’t even imagine the awfulness of that. Since then, she and her husband have decided 2 kids is enough and to focus on strengthening their marriage instead. She is a huge supporter for A and I though and always there for me.

Here’s hoping my doctor will call me back and put me on Provera again and the Metformin will get me ovulating! Happy Monday 😛

 

Metformin

I have been on Metformin for almost 2 months now. I unfortunately did not escape the dreaded side effects that come along with it. The very first week I started taking 1 500 mg pill in the morning and then 1 500 mg pill at night and it went ok. I actually started to believe I would be one of the lucky ones who squeak by without too much of an issue. But by week 2 my stomach was upset and I would feel nauseous at random times while sitting at my desk working. If that wasn’t bad enough, one night I realized my bottle of Metformin actually had advised me to take 2 pills twice daily, double the dose of what I was already taking! So right in the middle of the work week I began taking 1000 mg in the morning and another 1000 mg at night with dinner. Things went from bad to worse with that. It had gotten to the point that I was afraid to eat lunch at work for fear of what might trigger my stomach to explode and I would come home from work feeling terrible no matter what I did. After a few days of that, I talked to my doctor, who then informed me that I was actually supposed to be taking 500 mg in the morning with food and then the 1000 mg at night. I was so relieved to lessen my dose during the day. Things became tolerable after that. My stomach still acts up from time to time but nothing like it was, thankfully. I am still pretty anxious when I have to go out somewhere or meet up with someone though. The struggle is real.

I have also come to realize that coffee seems to aggravate the effects of Metformin, at least for me. So this week I have switched to a green tea with lemongrass and spearmint with my normal granola bar breakfast rather than my cup of delicious coffee. I am not a tea drinker, it isn’t satisfying to me but I am hoping will be worth it. Spearmint and lemongrass are suppose to also be very good on digestion as well. It has only been 2 days since I switched to tea but things do seem better. My stomach is less unpredictable and angry so I guess I will keep drinking it. Although I make no promises on the weekends! I think I will be ok having a cup on days where I don’t have too many plans or anywhere to be. Also, full disclosure, coffee and I have always had a love hate relationship. I love it and it hates me, ha! There are very few ways I can take my coffee and not have it irritate my stomach. But it just tastes so good! That being said, I am going to try really hard to stick with my switch to tea on work days. It will most likely really help with my anxiety, one less thing to worry about. I am very tired of feeling like I need to be chained to a toilet right after taking my morning pill.

I haven’t really noticed any positive changes with Metformin yet except that maybe I am maintaining weight rather than gaining any. I am hopeful that it will aid in me losing a few pounds as well but we shall see. Other than that, maybe only being on month 2, it is too early to tell if it is working on regulating my cycle or balancing out my hormones. Anyone else on Metformin, how long did it take for it to really kick in? I believe it is 3 to 6 months but I have ready many reviews of women getting pregnant right after just starting it. I, unfortunately, already no that will not be me. I desperately want to be put on Clomid but I know my OBGYN is dead set on me waiting the full year before letting me try other things. So until then, Metformin it is.

-B

Where to Start…

Stick with me here, because I have never been a blogger before so things could get a little rocky as I find my way around. Anyway, I’ll just dive in:

My husband and I married in October 2014 and decided to wait at least a year before trying for a baby. A is in the military and going to school full time. I do background checks on clients, which sounds exciting but I mostly just do a lot of paperwork. We have 2 fur babies, both American Bulldog Mixes. One is 7 that A had before we even started dating and the other is 2 years old that we got together a moth before we got married (we couldn’t wait to find our first dog a friend).

December 2015 I officially went off of my Birth Control to seriously start TTC (trying to conceive). I had my annual OBGYN appointment in the beginning of Feb 2016 and let my doctor know our plans. I also informed her that I hadn’t gotten my period yet since getting off of BC and was a little concerned. It’s normal for my period to be irregular, skipping months or lasting for weeks at a time, which was why I was on BC up until this point. I was told a few years prior that I had a hormonal imbalance that caused the irregularity but that was it. It was frustrating but I wasn’t overly concerned at the time. Now however it was becoming an issue. My doctor told me if by month 3 my cycle was still skipping she would put me on something to force it to come and then once it did I should start using an ovulation kit to make sure my body was even ovulating on it’s own and then go from there.

By the end of March still no sign of AF so my doctor prescribed Provera to take for 10 days to force a cycle to start. Thankfully that worked so April 11th 2016 I finally got my period and then began using an ovulation kit once it was over…Well May rolled around with nothing, then June with no luck, so I call my doctor asking what my next step should be. I also told her since being off of BC my face was breaking out and I was gaining weight. She decided it sounds like all my symptoms were adding up to me having PCOS. It bugs me that she never did any bloodwork or actually checked out if I, in fact, have cysts on my ovaries before prescribing me Metformin. But I guess I will just trust her judgment for now until A and I hit the 1 year marker of TTC so that I can be switched to an Infertility Specialist.

So this is where I start my infertility journey. I am now at the end of 7 months TTC, I had AF once in April and then not again. Have never seen the smiley face on my ovulation kit pee sticks and am on month 2 of Metformin. Apparently it can take 3 to 6 months to regulate your cycle if I remember correctly. Here’s hoping!

-B