A Birth Story – #3

As my daughter’s 1st birthday is only weeks away, I feel guilty that I still haven’t written her birth story yet. I want her to have this one day, like her 2 sisters, so here we go!

This birth was slightly different than the other 2, in that we knew how fast all of my labors go and tried to be prepared for that. We had AC’s brother come stay out our house starting 2 weeks after my last progesterone shot because we knew once I took the last one at 36 weeks my body usually goes one week on its own and then gets mad and sends me into active labor the next week. This one was no different. At 38 weeks we had Adeline’s very first day of Kindergarten happening on September 7th and I very much wanted to be there and present for her and not in the hospital and thank you God I got to do that! So that Wednesday came and we enjoyed taking Adeline to her 1st day of school and everything went smoothly at first. After we picked her up, we all celebrated at Coldstone Creamery for some ice cream. I remember not feeling too well and debating if I should even eat the ice cream but did anyway haha. Then later that day at home AC cooked me some dinner though I really didn’t feel like eating at all at that point and at the back of my mind started wondering if I should be listening to my body and this wasn’t normal for me to not feel like eating.

Around 10pm after the girls were asleep and so was AC and his brother, before I could get ready for bed myself I started getting hit with painful contractions. They have always immediately come fast and hard so I knew there was no time to wait even though they were only about 7 min apart at this time. I told AC we needed to head to the hospital so we woke up his brother to watch the girls and away we went. On the 15 min drive to the hospital I started worrying if we were going to soon. For the 1st time I wasn’t having contractions every min like my other 2 and wasn’t in a huge amount of pain yet. When we got to the hospital and checked in through the ER section they took me up to a room and started monitoring everything to decide if I was ready to be admitted yet or sent home. The nurse said I was only 4 cm dilated and with contractions every 5 to 7 minutes she’d have to talk to the doctor to see if I should stay or not! I was so nervous and explained that my labors always speed up super fast and I was worried if I went home there would be no time to make it back. Thankfully the doctor agreed and they admitted me that night around 11:30pm. Once admitted I started asking for an epidural because with Aoife I didn’t get to have one and I did not want to experience that kind of pain again. The nurse assured me that once they got my IV in my arm they would go get the epidural for me. Well getting an IV in my arm is always tricky and takes many nurse attempts so I was still without an epidural until around midnight and my contractions were unbearably painful at that point and I just wanted them to stop. I think I was dilated to a 6 or 7 at that point when the anesthesiologist finally came in and got me my epidural. It immediately started to dull the pain some and I was assured after 15 min I shouldn’t feel a thing…yeah at 15 min instead of feeling good the pain started getting worse and worse again until it felt like I didn’t have an epidural at all! I kept pushing the button on my IV to release more but nothing took the pain away. The nurse got me a peanut ball to try to get me fully dilated since the pain wasn’t stopping. That ball made the pain unbearable and I asked to be checked again to see how close we were to being ready to push. I was at a 9 when the anesthesiologist came to try a 2nd round of the epidural, but unfortunately that one did absolutely nothing to stop the horrific pain I was in. I remember asking to be checked again because I was feeling so awful and thought I might need to throw up, but then as the nurses were rushing around to get me a bucket and realized I needed to start pushing, now! The nurse told me I needed to wait because I wasn’t quite at 10cm and she didn’t want me to tear but there was no stopping this, I told her I had to push, the baby was coming! SO they all got in position and honestly all I felt was never ending pain, I didn’t even feel like I was pushing at all and was completely surprised when they said they say her head and then she was out! Alexis was born at 3:36am, weighing 6lbs 15 oz and 19 1/4 inches long ❤

I cannot describe the relief you feel after your beautiful baby comes out and the pain instantly stops. It is the best feeling in the world lol. They put my adorable baby Alexis on my chest and it was magical. She was perfect. AC and I stayed in the hospital for 2 days just loving on our new baby and thankfully my parents came into town to take Adeline and Aoife to the rest of their first week of school.

And Then There Were Three

These 2 little ladies are going to be big sisters this September 2022!

I keep meaning to post this exciting news! We waited the one month to recover after my miscarriage and then the next month did another round of Letrozole and this little peanut stuck! I am currently 19 weeks along and have started my weekly Mckenna injections 2 weeks ago to try our hardest to get this baby to as close as full term. It worked for Aoife, my 2nd daughter, so I am optimistic that they will work for this one too. I did turn 35 a few months ago, so age is against me on this one, adding to my already high risk of preterm labor but so far so good.

You Mattered

I completed my last round of Letrozole at the very end of August. I also had called my doctor asking to add progesterone inserts because that is what the RE specialist put me on combined with the Letrozole and a trigger shot that worked for when I got pregnant with Aoife. Dr. C agreed but instead of having me take it 4 days after ovulation like the RE had me do to keep my progesterone levels up she said start them after I get a positive pregnancy test…I didn’t see how that would help anything at all. Friends, I do not recommend this, but I started the progesterone 4 days after ovulation like I knew worked with my RE instead of waiting.

My sister got married at the end of September so I put off taking a pregnancy test until the day after her wedding. I didn’t want to be unhappy on her special day if it was negative. So the next day, 10 days past ovulation (I know it was still very early to test) I took a hpt and it was positive! I was so happy and thought the progesterone inserts must have made all the difference for my last round of Letrozole. AC and I were thrilled and already starting thinking about our future with 3 little ones and what they would be like. AC told his brother the good news and I told my best friend who lives overseas.

About 3 weeks later, that Monday, I had some spotting. It wasn’t much but I called a nurse anyway. She assured me that was normal unless it got heavier or I started having bad cramping. I wanted to believe that everything was going to be ok but as the day went on I was getting more and more worried something wasn’t right. I went to the grocery store and got a pregnancy test. I figured seeing the positive lines would put my mind at ease…boy was I wrong. Not only was there not even a faint 2nd line showing up, there was no second line at all! It was just completely negative. The bleeding picked up some after that and I had some cramps but nothing major. I called the nurse again who scheduled me to come in later that week for a beta test but I knew it was all over. AC and I were devastated. Our dreams of our 3rd baby to complete our family was gone in the blink on an eye. When I did get into my obgyn my beta was at less than 5 and Dr. C said because I really only experienced minor cramping and bleeding the baby must have left me shortly after implanting that it was more like a chemical pregnancy. She said the one good thing that came out of this was that it showed my body could get pregnant on the Letrozole so she wouldn’t be sending me to the RE. That instead we would restart my 3 rounds of Letrozole here after I skip this next cycle…I really don’t know how I feel about this. The RE gives me monitored cycles and watches everything so closely vs. my regular obgyn I am in the dark each cycle with what is working or not. Not to mention, she doesn’t know that I took the progesterone inserts early to help me get pregnant. I guess I should tell her but now I am afraid to! And starting over is so scary now, what if this is the start of more miscarriages, going through that was awful!

I am so thankful to have my 2 daughters though. Some women with PCOS never get to have any babies so I know how much of a miracle my two are.

Not This Time

I can’t believe how sure I was that this was it. The implant bleeding on 9dpo really convinced me since I had only experienced it once before when I was pregnant with Adeline. Friday I called my obgyn and talked to a nurse about what I was experiencing and how I was getting negative tests but the nurse said it was still early and to keep testing until this Friday the 30th to be sure…. well turns out none of that mattered because the very next day I got my period and just like that everything was over 😦

The only bright side of this situation would have been that I could immediately start round 3 of femera on Tuesday, today, rather than have to take progesterone and wait for my period to come since it actually came naturally for once. But then I realized that no, that’s not how this was going to go because AC has his summer army training and would be gone all month and wouldn’t be here for ovulation, so there goes this cycle. I have to skip this month and wait until September before trying again 😦 ahhh! Infertility is really the worst.

Still Waiting and in Need of Answers

I am really confused as to what is happening in this cycle. On 9dpo I had been having some cramping and then what I know was implant bleeding. I thought for sure that meant I would get a positive pregnancy test right away and this would be it! But instead I have been getting negative pregnancy test after negative test. I am currently on cd 33 and 5 days past the implant bleeding…I plan to keep testing a few more days for that last shred of hope but I think it should have been positive by now. By Monday if it is still negative I plan on calling my doctor and trying to come in and talk to her about what is going on. When I was trying to get pregnant with Aoife the specialist had me on progesterone inserts right after ovulation to keep my levels up and try to avoid an early miscarriage since we just didn’t know what caused Adeline to be born at 28 weeks. Maybe I should be on progesterone for these cycles too? I know my body did the rest of the work this time, ovulating, implanting, but then if it isn’t sticking around after, why?? I need answers or maybe it’s time to be passed back to the specialist like I am every time before it results in a pregnancy.

Round 3

Ok so not a lot has happened since I posted in March which is why I haven’t been updating. After the first round of Femara didn’t work I decided to stop round 2 until I was able to get my covid vaccine. It was just a personal choice that I felt would be best for myself, my family, and my potential unborn baby if I managed to get pregnant during the pandemic. I wasn’t able to get my first dose until late April and then my 2nd dose mid May. So I want able to start my 2nd round of Femara until just last month in June. After jumping through all of the hoops of taking progesterone, waiting a week and then taking Femara on cd4 then waiting another week to test for ovulation, I ended up being out of town and the whole cycle was scraped!

So now I’m currently in round 3 of Femara but really round 2. I’ve just started the 2 week wait so we’ll see what happens!

Last month Adeline turned 4 and will start preschool in the fall! So hard to believe, she is growing up so fast. Aoife is a year and a half and is running, jumping, climbing and saying short sentences and so many words! Seems like she is learning several new words a day!

Round 1 Done

My 1st round of Letrozole/Femera failed, well not completely I guess. I did ovulate but then nothing. I really should be taking progesterone to force restart a new cycle but I just haven’t gotten around to it. I need to call Dr. C and see if she’ll up my dose of Letrozole from one to 2 pills since that is how much I was on to get pregnant with Aoife. Hopefully she approves that. Also, I guess I also haven’t restarted my next round because if everything were to actually work out this month, I would have another December baby. I don’t really want Aoife to have to share her birthday with another sibling on top of Christmas and 4 other close relatives on AC’s side have December birthdays as well. I know I shouldn’t care that much about that and just be happy if we can manage to have another baby but it does factor in for us. So I am currently just taking a little break before starting round 2. I only get 3 rounds after all, before I am sent back to a specialist, which is what it has taken to get my other 2 girls.

TTC # 3

It has been waaay too long. We have mainly just been hunkering down and trying to wait out the Pandemic. AC and I are both still working from home and our girls are not going to daycare. Hopefully by the fall it will be safe enough for Adeline to go to preschool, especially with people getting vaccinated.

But anyway, I figured I would start blogging again to keep track of trying to conceive baby # 3! I am currently on my 1st medicated cycle. After going to my annual check up Dr. C asked about if we wanted any more children and I said yes, we thought we would try for I more before I turned 35 and everything became even harder for me and potentially dangerous since I am already high risk for preterm labor. She agreed and wanted us to start trying on our own for 3 months starting in Dec 2020. December I didn’t even ovulate so that month was a bust. I was frustrated and called Dr. C asking if we could skip the 2 other months since we already know I never ovulate on my own because of my PCOS. She agreed that we could start on Progesterone to restart my cycle since my period wasn’t coming either and then I’d take Femera between cycle day 3-5.

Well the first dose of Progesterone did nothing, which is weird, it always works for me. Dr. C wanted to bring me in to test my BETA numbers to see if I was pregnant even though I was required to take a pregnancy test before starting the progesterone and the home test was negative. I knew it was impossible for me to be pregnant though because AC had just had back surgery in October so we weren’t exactly getting busy lol. So after discussing that with Dr, C she let me take a 2nd dose of progesterone rather than having to come in for an appointment. Thankfully the 2nd dose did work and I decided to take the Femera on CD5. I don’t like that it was up to me to decide at random which day between CD 3 and 5 I would take the Femera. At the specialist they monitor everything and decide for you which date would be most successful… After finishing the Femera you have to start testing for ovulation about 7 to 10 days later. Well day 7 the test was just negative, which was frustrating. Day 8, 9, 10 & 11 the test was flashing, which means it detects the ovulation but it still hasn’t happened yet. At that point I decided this cycle was doomed from the start since the progesterone had so much trouble from day 1. The morning of 12 days after, the test was still just flashing so I decided to take a 2nd test that night and finally I was ovulating! I don’t know if it coming a few days late will effect anything or not. Currently I am in the 2 week wait. So we will see what happens!

Snow Day!

6-9 months & 3 Years

I have gotten very far behind. Working remotely from home and juggling the girls makes posting anything pretty challenging. Aoife is now 9 months old and is crawling fast everywhere. She is also climbing on everything and can stand independently too! It’s just a matter of time before she takes her 1st steps. She is 16 lbs now and in the 25 percentile. She has 2 bottom teeth finally, teething has been a nightmare! She is eating any solid foods she can get her little hands on; eggs, carrots, muffins, bread, chicken pieces, cheerios, etc. Yogurt with peanut butter mixed in is her favorite. She is also saying dada AND mama now! I am so happy she has finally learned mama! She also waves and points at everything with her index finger. So adorable!

Adeline turned 3 years old back in June. She talks so much, tells stories, loves to sing! She is rambunctious and goes a mile a minute all day long. She still loves all things Frozen but also watches Bambi, 101 Dalmatians, and the Aristocats on repeat. She insists on doing everything herself and helping with all tasks. She is a great big sister most of the time but has her moments. Time out is definitely not new to her haha! But mostly she is sweet and loving and still wants me to hold her and snuggle all of the time. I am so happy she hasn’t grown out of this!

Life Updates

I am pretty behind on Aoife’s 5 months post. At her 4 months check up she was 12 lbs and 22 inches long. She is very small for her size like her sister but is growing at a healthy rate. Not too much as changed from 4 to 5 months. She rolls a lot, loves baby food, laughing at her sister and playing with toys. She is also very very close to being able to sit up unsupported! Maybe by next month.

I am currently working from home, which is challenging with a toddler running around an infant but it is also so great and I am loving it. Especially the part where my girls are both staying healthy and not constantly sick from all the germs of daycare. I am already so concerned with the thought of me having to return to the office and put them back in daycare. Infants have their own scary risks with the Coronavirus. AC thinks he should be working from home through the month of June as he isn’t part of the first phase returning at his work. I think, as long as my work considers infants a high risk, that I shouldn’t have to go back until the last phase in my office. They also factor in those without daycares for their kids too. So those combined should help me to continue working from home for awhile and keeping my kids healthier for longer but we shall see.

In other news, Adeline will be turning 3 years old in one week!!! We will just have a very intimate party of just AC, Aoife, and I, as well as my brother in law, as it is his week to come help with the children while AC and I are working. We are so blessed to have both of our mothers and AC’s brother able to come to our house on weekdays to help with the girls so that we can get our work done successfully. Adeline is definitely a Threenager now! She isn’t afraid to shout NO! or stomp her feet at us when she is angry or didn’t like something. I’ll do more of an update on her for her birthday. She is growing up so fast!